TDAnt Chapter 13

Chapter 13- My Best Friend Is A Loser
Chris was once again shown at a bright, galliant awards program. Two other men, also in tuxedos like him, stood beside him.

An elderly, evil-looking man stood smirking as he opened the envelope. "And this Silver Strawberry award goes to..."

Chris and the other men looked worried and anxious at the announcer.

"...Chris McLean!" The announcer finished.

Chris ran up gleefully to the podium and claimed his award. "Thank you all that voted for me! I never thought I would--"

The audience and other nominees began to guffaw at him.

"...W-what's so funny?" Chris demanded. "Why is everyone laughing?"

"Chris." Jett from the previous night commented. "You do know what the award you just won is for, right?"

Chris read the print on his trophy, reading it aloud as, "Silver Strawberry Award. Worst Reality Show Host. Chris McLean."

The audience continued to laugh.

Chris turned pale and began to stammer incoherently until he lost consiousness and fell onto the floor with a thud.

Chris was shown once again weeping under the covers in his bed.

"Chris." Phil scolded. "Come on. You actually won the award this time. Sure, it may have been an award no one would ever want to get, but..."

"But what?!" Chris sobbed. "Even when I win, I've lost!"

Phil sighed deeply. "Fine. Is there anything I can get you, your patheticness?"

"Yes." Chris approved. "Go get me a sandwich."

"I'm not going to get a sandwich..." Phil muttered.

Chris began to weep louder and more annoyingly.

"Ugh..." Phil groaned. "Fine, then. Have it your way." He walked away, off to prepare Chris' request.

"Last time on Total Drama Antarctica." Chris began. "The contestants competed in a battle-of-the-sexes challenge, boys versus girls. After a terrifying encounter with a giant fish, the girls ended up as the victors. At elimination, the Seals suffered another hugs blow as Kortney was sent packing. What will happen now that Meagan is the only Seal remaining? Will Keetin and Foxface continue to be the masterminds of this game? And will Rufus and Luc ever get any power in this thing? Find out right now on Total... Drama... Antarctica!"

Keetin and Foxface were shown conversing with each other in the girls' tent, Meagan not present.

Keetin was drawing a picture of Meagan, Luc, and Rufus lying dead on the ground, her and Foxface triumphantly next to them. "So... how does it feel to be in complete control of this game?"

Foxface opened her mouth to say something, but was stopped.

"Yeah, I know right?" Keetin sighed in pleasure. "Who do you think we should brutally crush next?"

Foxface once again attempted to make a statement, but was cut off.

"Yeah, Meagan's pretty volatile." Keetin agreed. "Would do you think we should get?"

Foxface made no attempt to respond, only waited for Keetin to answer her own question.

"Yeah." Keetin replied to herself. "Rufus would totally lose to either of us in a vote. You're really good at strategizing."

Foxface rolled her eyes and facepalmed.

Luc and Rufus were shown in the boys' tent.

Rufus shrugged. "I guess. TV's not so great... except for those dirty shows my parents block."

Luc nodded, as if he had a clue what came on television. "Yeah... I haven't seen TV in... six years? The only channels my aunt had were the Cats For Cat Ladies Network and the Knitting Channel."

"...That sounds real interesting." Rufus replied sarcastically. "I bet you had a lot of fun with her. Did your parents work all day or something?"

Luc blushed. "Um... yeah. Totally. You could say they didn't even have time to give me permission to be on the show."

"Don't you have to get permission from a parent?" Rufus pressed. "Isn't that why that bald skater guy got eliminated that one time?"

Luc stared at him blankly. "That rule must've been overturned or something... Or that story and this one where written by different authors who have different in-game rules... or whatever."

"...Is there anyone here not aware they're in a story and being controlled by an author?" Rufus complained.

"...Probably not." Luc sighed.

Meagan was shown staring intently at the television in the girls' cabin, Keetin and Foxface now sitting next to her.

"So, Meagan..." Keetin began. "How do feel about--"

"I don't care." Meagan dismissed. She clicked a button on the remote, making the TV's channel change.

"'Cause I am, you are, we are..." The TV droned. "Exceptional, exceptional."

"...Curse you, Japann Anna McClone." Meagan prodded and clicked the same button again.

"So, Meagan, how do think we should--" Keetin tried.

"I don't give a, I don't give a, I don't give a..." Meagan sang. "Seriously, I don't care."

"Men, men, men, men, manly men, men, men, men..." The TV droned on.

"...Hated this one since that drunk one was fired." Meagan sighed.

Keetin facepalmed. "Do you care about anything else besides TV?"

Meagan clicked the button again. "Not really."

Keetin grumbled, "I'm going to see if Chris is here yet."

The other four contestants soon met Keetin outside with Chris.

"Welcome, final five." Chris greeted. "You've made it very, very far in this game and should be proud of yourself."

"...There's a catch to you praising us, right?" Keetin sighed. "There's some sort of really annoying or hard challenge coming up, right?"

"...Y-yeah, kind of." Chris admitted. "Since you're the final five, I decided the challenge should be to bond with your... opposites."

"Opposites?" Luc questioned. "What do you mean, opposites?"

Betti, Zanibanito, Ronald, Franklin, and Allan walked in.

"I'd like you all welcome back some familiar faces." Chris announced. "The first five eliminated from the game."

Luc leaned over to Rufus and whispered, "I thought Zanibanito died."

"...So did I." Rufus whispered back, just as confused.

"Your challenge is to bond with a loser of my choice." Chris smirked. "The pairs are... Allan and Foxface."

Allan ran up to Foxface and held his hand up for a high-five. "Foxy! How you been doin'?"

Foxface simply glared at him blankly.

"Betti and Keetin."

Keetin groaned.

Betti scoffed. "As if you're simply acting to be disgusted. You should be honored to be paired with me... not that I'm going to actaully help you, you should be honored."

"Franklin and Luc."

"...ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?!" Luc demanded.

Franklin folded his arms. "For once, I agree with him. There's no way we can play together."

Chris smirked. "Mm-hmm. Next pair is Ronald and Meagan."

Ronald squealed giddily and hugged Meagan tightly.

Meagan groaned. "At least he'll cooperate."

Rufus' eyes widened. "That means...?"

Zanibanito ran up to him. "UNICORN NYAN-RIFFIC VIOLIN FROM AUSTRALIA!"

Rufus facepalmed. "This is going to be loads of fun."

"You have thirty minutes to make your partner look like they know everything about you; like they're your best friend." Chris explained.

"...My 'best friend' is a loser." Rufus sighed.

Chris ignored and walked away.

Allan and Foxface were shown in the girls' tent together.

"So, Foxy..." Allan sighed. "How do you think I should act, to be like you?"

Foxface stared at him blankly. "..."

Allan chuckled, but quickly went to a straight face. "..."

"..." Foxface responded.

This continued for a minute.

"...I can take a hint." Allan assured. "I get it." He continued to stare blankly into space, saying nothing. "...I'm doing so well."

Betti and Keetin were shown outside, Keetin holding her hand to her forehead.

"...Well." Keetin grumbled. "It's pretty clear you have no artistic talent." She stared at an atrocious drawing Betti had drawn.

"I'm rich." Betti explained. "I don't need to have talent."

Keetin facepalmed. "Can you, like, pretend to strategize like I do?"

Betti shook her head. "I'm too good for a strategy."

Keetin mumbled something dirty. "Is there anything you're not too good for?"

Betti put her index finger to her chin, as if to think about this question. "...Not really, no."

Keetin facepalmed again. "Look, is there anything you can do to help me win?"

"...Nah, it'd be too much effort." Betti stated. "I don't need effort, with the amount of money I have."

Franklin and Luc were shown trying to win in the boys' cabin.

"...This sucks." Luc sighed.

"Tell me about it." Franklin complained back.

"Is there any way you want to help me win?" Luc asked. "Any way at all?"

"Not really." Franklin replied.

"I thought not." Luc shrugged. "Wait, won't me losing also mean you losing?"

"Muh, I've already lost this inferior game." Franklin explained. "There's no point now."

"...I hate you." Luc stated.

"Same to you, my 'friend.'" Frankin replied.

Meagan and Ronald were shown together.

"...Do I really have to do anything?" Meagan inquired. "You already know enough about me, you stalker."

Ronald blushed. "Well... I don't know that much about you."

"Ronald." Meagan sighed. "No matter what, I want you to give your answer to these next few questions."

Ronald nodded.

"What is my favorite color?" Meagan asked.

"Dark cyan." Ronald answered immediately.

"What's my favorite food?"

"Anything fattening and sugary."

"What did I have for breakfast three years ago today?"

"Donuts and orange juice."

"...Dude, not even I knew that last one." Meagan scoffed. "Seriously, you're creeping me out."

"So, if I win the challenge, will you be happy to be around me?" Ronald inquired.

"...I guess so." Meagan shrugged.

Ronald squealed in pleasure and giddily jumped up and down.

Rufus and Zanibanito were shown in the boys' cabin.

"OMG WHY DO YOU KEEP INSULTING THE MAGICAL UNICORNS FROM MY PANTS?!" Zanibanito demanded.

Rufus faceapalmed. "It's pretty obvious we're going to get nowhere with this."

Zanibanito slapped Rufus and ran out of the tent, screaming something about too many TV remotes.

Rufus muttered something dirty. "Come back here right now or else I'll shove a--"

A creepy-looking British guy was shown on-screen. "Hello, children. I'm here to read you a story while the scary man says something too dirty for your young eyes to see." He opened up a storybook. "Once there was a Nyan Cat who died. The End... sad, isn't it?" He shed a tear from his eye.

"..." Rufus said in the tent, apparently done with his rant. "Zanibanito, come back here right now or I'll make sure you never--"

A 26-year-old man and a 17-year-old next to him were sitting at a table across from a 12-year-old.

"...Dude, there's no way you can write that in to a PG-rated story." The 26-year-old said.

"But--" The 12-year-old protested.

"Take it out or re-rate the story, yo." The 17-year-old advised.

The ten contestants of the challenge were now shown with Chris.

"Okay..." Chris sighed. "Let's see how this turned out. Allan, you can go first." Allan went up to Chris and said absolutely nothing. "..."

"Very convincing." Chris complimented. "That's going to be hard to top... Betti."

Betti groaned and stepped to Chris. "I'm an artist and... stuff. I strategize. I'm Kettin, or whatever."

Keetin facepalmed.

"...Keetin, you better have something planned, because you're not getting immunity tonight." Chris sighed. "Go ahead, Franklin."

Franklin shrugged and simply boarded the plane to go home.

"...Can't say I didn't see that coming." Luc admitted.

"...Y'know, I think this challenge is really one-sided." Chris chuckled. He looked at Ronald who was dressed like Meagan. "Ronald... go."

Ronald lied on the ground and began munching on chicken wings, not moving at all. "You guys all suck and it's so easy to make fun of you." He said, in an exact impression of Meagan.

"...Zanibanito, please submit your useless entry now that Meagan has won." Chris commanded.

Zanibanito simply screamed and blew into a million pieces.

"Well, now that that's out of the way..." Chris sighed. "Meagan has invincibility. See you losers at the elimination... as for the literal losers..." He pushed Betti, Zanibanito, Ronald, Franklin, and Allan onto the plane as it took off.

The final five were seen at elimination.

"Welcome to the elimination ceremony." Chris stated. "These first ice-balls go to Meagan and Keetin."

Meagan and Keetin nodded as the balls flew past them.

"Foxface." Chris continued. "You are also safe."

Foxface smiled at Keetin.

Rufus and Luc looked worriedly at each other.

"Luc, Rufus." Chris scolded. "You boh kind of sucked in the challenge, and have reasons to be eliminated... but the fnal ice-ball goes to...

...Rufus."

Rufus cheered and quickly caught the ice-ball.

Luc stood up, shocked. "Wow. I knew pretty much all I had was pity on my side, but I thought I could actually win. Looks like I have to go back to abhorrent life now. See you jerks later."

The others looked down in shame.

Luc boarded the plane and flashed the finger at the ones who had eliminated him.

"Well, that's it for a somewhat dirty episode of Total Drama." Chris closed. "See you next time on Total... Drama... Antarctica!"