TDAnt Chapter 9

Chapter 9- The Chapter That Had Such A Low Budget It Couldn't Afford A Title
Chris was looking through a safe, panning and panning for anything he could find. His eyes widened. "Gotta be some money, gotta be some money somewhere..." He took a piggy bank from a shelf and smashed it apart with his knee. Several coins spilled out of it. "Sixty-seven, sixty-eight, sixty-nine..." He counted. "Sixty-nine cents?! Only sixty-nine?!" He threw the coins onto the ground in deperation. He then picked them up after about two seconds. "On second thought, it's better than nothing." He glared at a penny with a face drawn onto it. "Don't look at me like that, Coiny!"

"..." Phil said behind the camera.

"Stop being PJ, Phil!" Chris scolded.

"Chris, out of everything I've ever seen you do..." Phil sighed. "This is by far the most deluted and desperate."

Chris glared back at him. "For your information, Phil, the network's not putting any more money into the budget until the merge. So, basically, we have a budget of sixty-nine cents for this episode."

"...Meaning...?" Phil inquired.

"Meaning that if you don't scrape something together and put on a good show, you're not getting paid." Chris informed.

Phil's eyes widened. He dropped the camera on the floor and kneeled down to sift between the sofa cushions.

A black-and-white picture of Chris was shown. A low-quality recording began to play. "Hello. If you are listening to this, then Total Drama Antarctica does not meet the financial requirements to record a proper introduction. Without further ado, we present the intro. Last time on Total Drama Antarctica, the teens competed in a battle of wits, to cook with no modern household appliances. The Seals ultimately won after the Penguins forfeited, and Bunny was eliminated after a four-to-two vote, after being double-crossed by Lily and Rufus. How will Keetin cope with the departure of her friend? How will Lily and Rufus deal with the reactions of their teammates? Find out right now on Total... Drama... Antarctica!"

Keetin was shown staring at the ground. She looked up at the sky afterwards, obviously depressed.

Lily went up to her. "Hey, Keetin... sorry about yesterday."

Keetin shrugged. "It's not your fault. I know you're too much of an idiotic pushover to convince Rufus of anything."

Lily looked hurt. "Keetin... what do you mean?"

Keetin rolled her eyes. "You know very well what I mean, Lily."

Lily put her hands on her head and went back over to Rufus.

"It's not like she won't admit who she is." Keetin mumbled to herself. "And I know she realizes that all the readers loathe her. There's no way in the world she'll win. She's only there to make Rufus look evil."

Rufus looked over at her and shrugged. "It's pretty true."

Keetin checked her watch. "Almost time for the comic relief characters to take over the screen." She stood up. "In the meantime, I should probably try to make some new allies."

Lily and Rufus were shown sitting together.

"Rufus." Lily consulted. "Are you sure we should've betrayed Keetin last night and gotten rid of Bunny?"

Rufus shrugged. "What's done is done. Whether or not Bunny still has a chance of winning is no longer our concern. Who cares anymore?"

"Bunny cares..." Lily muttered. "She's someone."

"Look, Lily." Rufus sighed. "Would you rather have her go or one of us go?"

"..." Lily stared at her boyfriend.

"Stop being PJ and answer already." Rufus commanded.

"I guess I would rather have her go." Lily admitted. "But I still feel bad."

"Don't worry." Rufus advised. "You'll grow out of that." He looked to the side sadistically.

Lily nodded and looked to the side awkwardly, attempting to imitate Rufus' facial expression.

"This is getting easier and easier." Rufus bragged in confessional. "Lily seems to be getting stupider and stupider by the minute. She's just so innocent... Oh, I can't wait to see her face when I decide to throw her away and find someone new to trick and use to win." He smirked at the camera.

Luc was shown clipping his fingernails. He sighed deeply. "I'm pretty sure the only reason I didn't go home last time was because everyone pities me." He thought alound to himself and shrugged. "That's probably my best chance to win. I shouldn't bash it."

Foxface looked over at him. "..."

Luc's eyes widened. "OMG. I just noticed you're just like PJ."

Foxface rolled her eyes and held up a picture of PJ. She pointed to her and said, "Why does she get so many references?" She immediately dropped the picture and clutched her throat, obviously surprised at what had just happened.

Luc was even startled. "I-I didn't even know you were able to talk..."

Foxface nodded furiously. She continued to feel her throat, looking for any sort of change. She then fel her forehead for signs of fever. She ran outside the tent.

Luc looked after her. He shrugged it off. "Now after that deluded dream, it's time to get back to working at my dream to meet Kristina Grammie and Meg Nicky." He began to again pick at his guitar.

The picture of PJ blew closer to him and he picked it up. "Why does she even have this?"

Foxface was shown peering into the opposing team's tent.

Meagan was shown playing around on her myPhone. "Dustine Believer haters of America. ...I live in Canada. But I'm joining anyway."

Foxface rolled her eyes.

Meagan looked directly over at Foxface. "What do you want?"

Foxface, startled, scurried away from that tent.

Meagan rolled her eyes. "Seriously. I think that was the first interaction from people on different teams since, like, the first chapter. That's kind of pathetic."

She looked over at her phone's screen. "Born Insane, Madonna, I Kissed A Girl For Attention, Teenage Nightmare..." She chuckled. "I love that song. So, um... stalling time as a filler..."

Foxface again peered into the tent when she was sure Meagan wasn't looking. She smirked and took notes.

Meagan continued to play idiotic songs on her myPhone. She looked up at Foxface. "How many times do I have to get rid of you?"

Foxface looked down at the ground and trudged away discouragedly.

"She looked like Jena with that notepad..." Meagan mumbled. "Not that I don't look like Jena."

Jennette and Kortney were strategizing, as usual.

"So... what if we lose?" Jennette asked.

Kortney shrugged. "I don't have all the answers. But just know if we do lose, I'm voting Dustine."

"Leave Dustine alone, partner!" Jennette complained. "He already has to deal with that viral video of that parody of his song."

"Oh, I made that thing." Kortney chuckled. "It got like one hundred million views."

Jennette stood up, disgusted. "You sicken me." She ran over to Dustine for comfort.

Dustine was practicing his singing, using his extremely high voice. "I'm not a girly, girly, girly, oh..."

Jennette sat down next to him. "Hey there, partner. How ya doin'?"

Dustine looked over at her. "Oh, hello, unworthy fan. How are you today?" He was obviously hiding negative feelings behind this cheerful expression. "Nothing bad's happening. I'm totally not getting Tweeter updates from emotionally scarred girls who saw those vile pictures Meagan and her friend posted."

Jennette's eyes widened. "Um... what pictures?"

Dustine's eyes darted to her. "Losing fans by the second. Just yesterday, I lost over three hundred thousand..." He began to rock back and forth.

Jennette looked down. "It's happening. The haters have done it, partner." She began to sob onto Dustine's shoulder.

Dustine sobbed in return.

Kortney rolled his eyes. "If only that were true."

The teens met Chris outside for the challenge.

"Welcome, helpless teenagers to today's challenge." Chris greeted. "We were going to whip out a challenge involving maniacial penguins, but we ran out of the budget for that."

"So... you're saying we're not going to have a challenge today?" Luc beamed hopefully.

"Of course I don't mean that." Chris giggled. "But we have a budget of sixty-nine cents."

"Teehee." Dustine chortled. "Sixty-nine."

Meagan rolled her eyes.

"So, basically, the challenge is to pick a number between one and ten." Chris sighed. "Closest team wins. Seals, you can go first."

"...We pick five?" Kortney suggested.

Meagan shrugged. "Why not?"

"Penguins?" Chris continued.

"We choose seven." Rufus told.

"Shouldn't we have a say in it, meathead?" Keetin retorted.

"OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Luc moaned.

Rufus rolled his eyes. "Have fun with being democratic, Keetin."

"Five and seven..." Chris mumbled. "Well, you see, the number was six, so... you guys kind of tied."

The contestants groaned.

"Okay, so guess again..." Chris sighed. "Seals--"

Suddenly, a blue helicopter dropped down from the sky, a burly, muscular man stepping out wearing a police uniform. "I believe the individual known as Dustine Believer is in the area?"